Truly Disappointed

From young until now, i have always known as a mediocre, never known as an outstanding student. Sometimes, i wish that i could at least have the taste of an outstanding student but i know i should face the reality than just day dreaming. Although i am an average student, everything i have been asked to do, i will always strive for the best. During high schools and secondary school, i done my job and assignments the best i could. However, i have let myself down today. I am truly disappointed with myself. We had Arab reading exam today and i thought i might be ok with it. It turned out to be really opposite as i thought it would be. In the midst of reading the text, i had difficulties recognizing the words and i read super slow.

I knew at that moment i was screwing up myself and i knew that the words that i read were not accurate. Later, my Arab lesson teacher asked me how did i do for the reading and i honestly told her that i did real badly. She just kept silence and silence meant agree. At that time, i was total dumb stuck and i was obviously upset with myself. I talked to myself saying that " if you at least put more effort in that reading, you would never face this problem today", "perhaps you should take arab lesson more seriously", "you should pay attention in class" and the questions went on and on.

Now, i am in my room, analysing my own problem and really want someone that i can talk to but, i do not know who i should talk to. I want to call my mom to talk to her about it but i do not want her to worry bout me, i want to call my friends but i am afraid that they do not understand my feelings. All i can do now is just to write down this posts as the way to express how i feel. I paused seconds to think, what i should really do in the future to improve my Arab. I do not want to let myself down again and also to my Arab teacher. Yea.. maybe a lot of people might ask me "why do you want to care so much in Arab?? and its no big deal", but honestly to me, when a teacher gives me a bad comment, that will give me a big impact. I know i got to brush up my reading as well as writting in Arab. If i did not help myself, no one will.