My Ambition V. Everything I Possess

I have been hoping and wishing to become a doctor since I was young. I had myself well-prepared for the career of a doctor. I started studying science since I was 7 and I had majored in Biology since I was in Form 1.Whenever people asked me "What is your ambition?". Without any hesitation and doubt, I would answer "I want and I will become a doctor.".

I was disappointed when I failed to get Medicine for enrollment into university. I am from a small town and news spread fast in small town(even faster for bad news). Everyone is gossipping how I did not get Medicine in markets and kopitiam. Before the customers ask for the price,they ask whether the shopkeepers have heard about my news. If the shopkeepers haven't heard about it,they would be happy to tell them. By the way,they are going to tell again even if the shopkeepers have heard about it........ My mother said she did not know how to respond or answer when her friends( aunties who held MEETING in markets) bombard her with questions......

Well,actually I just got a scholarship offerred from Japanese Embassy. I could accept the offer and study in Japan for Medicine. I was hoping to get the scholarship so much, but now that I had got it, I somehow hesitate and decide to reconsider it again. There are reasons I should take the offer and there are reasons not to.

WHY I SHOULD TAKE THE OFFER
1. I will have a chance to experience a different life which not many Malaysian have.
2. I will learn Japanese Language which is an asset to me in the future.
3. I can persue the field that I am more familiar and have dreamt for so long.
4. I can study the whole course for free and have monthly expense for RM 4201 + -

WHY I SHOULD NOT TAKE THE OFFER
1. If I fail the Japanese Language Test that I will study for the 1st year, I would be asked to go back M'sia with nothing. I will lose my current Law course too.
2. Even if I completed my degree and I want to come back to M'sia and work, I have to take many paper tests which are not easy. Besides,there are many obstruction set up by government to protect local doctors from overseas' doctor's competition.
3. I have to study for 7 years(MEDICINE) there. I jus have to study for 4 years(LAW) here.
4. Finally, I love my friends here and I think I can't afford to lose them. I will miss them so much.

So, I am really in a dillema now. Should I go? Or shouldn't I go? There are some friends who ask me to study there. Some hope that I would stay. Some do not care much and they just said " follow your heart.". My family members also hope that I will take up the offer. My own decision? Ermmmm,I don know yet.

Sometimes I am really disappointed with M'sia's government. I was born and raised up in M'sia. Though, I cannot get any offer from our government. It is the Japan's government that willing to give me a chance to persue what I want. M'sia government always claim that our people prefer to contribute and work for other countries other than their own country. A piece of my advice, before pointing finger to other people,think......." why they don't intend to work in the place they were born and raised up?". Then our government can solve the problem easily. M'sia government has already provided us for so many years in studies and many other affairs since we were young. Why refuses to contribute for our high education and let many of us disappointed and bear resentment inside us? Isn't it irrational? They disappointed people at the last stage, then people are going to disappoint them as well.

If I was offered the course of Medicine in my own country, I will not take any offer from other country(even from Howard University). Then I am going to work here in my own country,serving those who were also born and raised up on this land.

Anyway, Malaysia, Happy 52-nd National Day. I still love you. Hoping you can keep on progressing and thriving well. Good luck.