Depressed and Disappointed.....

Everyone hopes to be the best in anything. Praised and recognized by others. This is a part of nature. Living creatures love and hate competence at the same time. It is because competency makes sure that only the winners survive. Losers will be eliminated from live. However, not many people willing to sacrifice for their aims in their lives. Hence in our life, the number of loser is far exceeding winners.

Do you grade yourself as winner of the life or loser of the life? I used to grade myself as a very top winner in my life. Now, I grade myself as a loser. I was not serious in my university life. I did not study at all. I put entertainment and leisure before my academic. Friends' invitation served first, then only my assignment. This is what i meant "not willing to sacrifice".

I almost miss up all my classes which start at 8am because of my "unwilling to sacrifice my bedtime". I burn midnight oil to do my assignment at very last minute and thus unable to wake up in the next morning even though I have two alarm clocks with me. I have disappointed so many people. I am disappointed with myself too.

Furthermore, these last few weeks of the first semester had made our lives so hectic and tensed up with the Problem-based Learning(PBL). I was trying to prepare all my PBL during the Raya holidays but I was admitted into hospital due to fever and diarrhoea. I spent half my holidays there. My health condition has declining recently. I have not recovered from diarrhoea yet. It's time to return to the previous healthy lifestyle. Sleep earlier and wake up earlier.

I am highly-depressed and disappointed with myself. I do want a good result and praised by lecturers like others do. Well, i cant imagine a normal people who want to be scolded instead of praised. But, the problem is I failed to do so. I promise myself here, from today on I will not do the same mistake again and I will focus in my study. I will give my full commitment in my study. I will also change lecturers' impression towards me.

It is time to walk out of the depression and failure. I want successes and I will make sure I have them by whatever means and sacrifice necessary.

PS: Puan Sitha, I am sorry for always being late and I will never repeat it again.